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But then I realized that it would be unfair if it simply penalized men, so I tweaked the card so that it automatically affected women (well, except naked women, and knowing our key demographic, a naked woman should already have a few significant play advantages) and men who went out of their way to get affected

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Instead, you need access to some big creatures alongside lots of artifacts

It does a base 80 damage, but if your opponent has a full bench, it will deal 140 damage for just three energy cards